Isn't it funny how often life changes. I often think about the past and everything that I have done, been through, etc. I think about the people I have met, the people I have dated, the people who bugged the shit out of me, and the people who I met, knew for such a short amount of time, and yet they have truly touched my heart. It is crazy to me to think about situations in my life, and the people who were with me at that point, and now know why they were there for me during that time...most the time.
However, I am realizing how hard it is for me to let those people go. I love to keep in contact with people and know how they are doing and what they are up to. But, sometimes I wonder if that is abnormal. I can go years without thinking about someone and then when their memory goes across my mind I can't get them out of my head. I HATE IT!
For example, the other day an old friend came across my mind. We have talked off and on forever, but he was someone I dated off and on, and so we don't talk, we just shoot e-mails occasionally. Well, it was always weird in the past when I thought about him, he usually reappeared in my life some how, for many years. The day my little boys adoption was finalized, I kept thinking of this guy and I was upset with myself.
Anyway, after several weeks of him being in my mind, my dreams, etc. I decided to e-mail him. Well, he wrote back pretty quickly and told me his mom had died the day I finalized Carter's adoption and he was struggling. I was devastated for him! I just can't imagine being as young as we are and not having my mom around. No wonder why he was in my thoughts so often. So, I wrote him back trying to ge more information and nothing.
I have not heard from him since and it makes me so sad. I have been asked by another friend why I care, and I truly don't know besides he was someone I was a really good friend with, and I am sad for him. Is this bad? I don't miss him as a boyfriend AT ALL, but as a friend, I really worry about him.
So, I just felt like I needed to write this in hopes that maybe he will leave my mind. I have had dreams about him crying and saying "Why did she have to go?" The look on his face haunts me! It is weird, I hate when this happens. I have such a hard time letting friends go, I just want to stay friends with everyone...LAME right?
Interesting post I'm sure, but I just felt like I needed to write! Have a great weekend!
you are such a sweetheart linds! I hope this helps you somewhat by writing. It helps me sometimes too! You are awesome and glad that I can still call you a friend even though it has been ages since we have talked or hung out.
ReplyDeleteYou have an adorable family by the way! Your little boy is priceless!!