Right Here, Right Now

I can't help but feel like things have been good. I am sure it may be repetitive, but I just have this desire to write this down again, because I want to always remember the moments when I feel this good in points of my life.

Dustin, Carter, and I were out shopping today and I had to stop and tell my husband just how good I think things arem and that I truly feel VERY happy. A year ago from right now, I was in a pretty dark place. I had a lot of doubts about a lot of big things, and it could have been a possibility for me to just walk away from where I was.

I thought about it a lot!

I considered things I hadn't considered in a long time.

I. WAS. LOST.

A year later, things are right where they are supposed to be.

I LOVE our home!

Though buying a new car was not in the plans for 2011, we have recently purchased a 2005 Nissan X-Terra, and we REALLY like it!

Today we went out shopping to spend some Christmas gift cards and it made me even more excited.

We bought our sleeping bags for our camping trips.

We got our "WELCOME" mats for the front door and back door.

We bought planter holders for our patio.

And, before it all began we had breakfast with Art, Nathan, David, and Brad. Really, a Sunday just doesn't get better than that.

I am grateful for it all. I am so happy Dustin and I are right here, together, right now! It is such an amazing feeling for me to know that things are settled and we really are good.

Fuzz Turns 33!

On Friday, my sweet husband turned the big 33.

He has been sick for about the last ten days, so we debated on continuing the party or not. But, knowing the group that was coming, we decided we better continue.

So...we celebrated his birthday the only way we know how...WITH OUR PEOPLE!



We had friends come to our house and we all hung out. I was a little late for because I had to go pick up Art from downtown, and I won't mention that it took me 15minutes of driving one block to find him....ridiculous!

Art and I then had to run to the grocery store for last minute things, and low and behold as we were walking out the door the Mastricola's were walking in! The reason why this is such a BIG deal...they said they weren't going to come and I was heartbroken. So, they said..."Don't leave, we're going to follow you!" HOORAY!!!

Once we got home the fun began! Stacy, Brian, Shane, Hailey, Griffin, Bradley, Nathan, Arthur, Eva, Corey, Nekeita, Paige, Chris, Katie, Arturo, John, and friend, all ended up coming at some point throughout the night.

Outside was gorgeous, so once again we had the fire pit going, the music playing, and best of all the company laughing!


We spent the evening together and ended the night around 2:00 am. We all had a great night and are so grateful for all who attended.

**All photos are from previous gatherings. I was to occupied and didn't get the camera out...Ooops!***

The First Of What I'm Sure Will Be Millions

Over Martin Luther King weekend, I decided to try something we have not done before. It was the first, but I can gaurantee it was not the last!

I spent the day cleaning to make sure it would be milk free for my nephew. I cooked, went grocery shopping, and made sure we would have treats for three small children to have a sleep over at our house!




We had olives as a snack, spaghetti for dinner, and OF COURSE we had to have sugar cookies!




After the kids had time to play, we got them in their pajamas and turned on "The Princess and The Frog." They enjoyed the movie, one anothers company, and a bowl of popcorn.



It turned out to be a success and we look forward to hosting another one. I even had the kids bathed and dressed when Stac came and picked them up. I think she was shocked!

Time To ReVamp

If you have been one of my blog readers for the past year, you will know I lost my pregnancy a year ago this past week. Right after my miscarriage, I got back on my HCG diet immediately to try to get some of the weight I had gained back off. I did one round and then decided to wait until the summer was over.

Well, then it was fall and I couldn't bring myself to start back up. Somewhere in the middle of the summer I got off all my meds and wouldn't refill them. I swore I would when school started. Then it became to close to the holidays to start, and the excuses go on and on. I could see negative effects in my body and myself, but I wouldn't go to my doctor, I wouldn't do anything. I am finally able to admit to why, and now the repercussions of this are back and on my plate to deal with...AGAIN!

I have a lot of thoughts that the reason my pregnancy ended was due to the medication I was taking prior to me finding out I was pregnant. One was not a healthy medication to be on during pregnancy and I cannot help but wonder if that is what caused my miscarriage. So, I stopped taking it, even after I lost the baby. I got back on for a few months,but when it was up, I stopped.

I know these meds help a great deal with my poly cystic ovarian syndrome and my thyroid. But I am finally going to admit, the reason why I haven't been taking them is because I was hoping to get pregnant, and didn't want to have to question if I were to lose another pregnancy that it was due to my meds. So, I stopped. Not smart. Not under medical advice. I did it by myself.

Unfortunately, I have not gotten pregnant. But what has happened, is I have royally screwed up my body, I think. I have gained a lot of the weight I had lost back, my body isn't as healthy as it was, and I am sick about it. I know I did it to myself, and I should know better. So, now I have the repercussions of my decisions.

So, tomorrow, I am going to try to call my doctor. I am going to try to get an appointment for as soon as I can. I am going to have to face her, much heavier than I was, and I am going to have to explain myself. I am not looking forward to that. But, I am going to start taking my meds and not worry about getting pregnant. I have accepted not being able to conceive a child before and I will again. I have a beautiful 2 year old Little Man who needs a healthy mom. He is here now and ready for me in full strides.

I have started the gym. I will begin my meds. I will stop drinking diet coke. And I will seriously consider a few more rounds of HCG. Summer is 5 months away, and I am ready to kick its ass!

Here is to no more excuses and no more pity! Here is to a happier, healthier me!

2011 Starts With A Bang!

Sunday evening Dustin had decided he wanted to go to the desert and do some shooting. I am usually quick to protest, especially when it is cold and dark, but that is when he prefers to go. So, I half-heartedly protested, he went, and the night went on.

My sis found us a Christmas tree, prelit and all, on sale at Smiths for $25!!! So she got it for us, but due to their car being backed into on Christmas day, they were in a rental, and I needed to go get the tree sooner then later.

Around 6:15 I headed to my mom's and at about 6:30 my cell phone rang...FUZZY!

The conversation goes something like this...
"Hi Fuzzy!"..."Hi Babe!"
"What ya doin'?" "I was just drivin' home."
"Oh yeah? Did you have fun?" "I did, but I have to tell you something."
"hmmm....okay?" "I clipped a deer."
"You what!?!" "I hit a deer."
"Ah...ummmm is the car driveable?" "Probably not. Also, my phone just beeped at me and its dying."
"Of course it is. Do you have your charger?" "No."
"Right...where are you?" "Out by Saratoga Springs."
"Okay, but where?" "I don't know, I will have to text you, but please don't call me anymore, or my phone will die. I have to go! I love you!"

Yep! Tears!

My sister was right there and hugged me, I went into the house to explain the situation, say bye to Carter, and Garry thankfully agreed to take me. He had an idea. Dustin and I text a few times and he was luckily able to nurse the car to a gas station. Throughout the texts, it dawns on me I didn't ask him if he was hurt, luckily he wasn't. I also then asked if the car was totalled and he told me he was pretty sure it was. AWESOME!

When Garry and I got there the car was pretty smushed. The radiator was leaking, the power steering was out, the hood was crunched, fender broken, quarter panel squished, dent in passenger door. And the list goes on...yep, probably totalled!


So, we drove home and I was pretty quick to call it a night.

Yesterday we learned the car is totalled and now we are just waiting to see what the payoff amount will be and then moving on. I guess we will also be purchasing a vehicle here soon. Not anything NEAR what I thought we would be doing, but in the big picture it is just a car and the only thing injured was the deer.

Happy New Year!

New Years day was well welcomed. We were excited to be beginning a new year, and decided that it was fun to end a year with a party, so why not start a new year with...ANOTHER PARTY!


This was the adult party and we had a blast. Dustin and I hosted the New Year party and our house did not fail. We were able to get our fire pit out and running. We got the speakers fixed and working. The food was perfect for snacking. And the company....JUST COULDN'T HAVE BEEN BETTER!

We laughed and laughed and laughed all night long. We played 10,000 (which is a dice game) and it was a ton of fun! We had Nathan, Bradley, Nick, Heather, Nekeita, Corey, and Art over and it was so nice. We cheered, we talked, we danced, we played, we sat outside and we soaked it all in.



It truly was the ABSOLUTE right way to spend 2011's first night!

525,600 Minutes...How do you Measure A Year?

Last year I did a year in review as my final post, and I thought that was the perfect way to end the year. I turn my blog into a book, and I think a final glimpse of the year is a nice way to end my book. So, I decided to do it again.

*January 6th started off the new year a little rough when I lost my pregnancy. It was extremely exhausting both mentally and physically. I still grieve the loss of my pregnancy but am doing much better.

*In March, Stacy and I loaded up the children and went to California for five days. We spent the time with Jocelyn and Chris. We played outside a lot and enjoyed a day in Santa Monica. The ocean is truly one of my favorite places to be.

*The end of March Dustin and I were robbed and many personal things were taken from us. It was very disheartening and frustrating to deal with at the time, but we were able to refoot, and keep going.

*In June Aunt Tammy let us have her condo for a week in Bear Lake. Carter and I spent the whole week up there. It was rainy for most of the week, but it was so nice to be away and near the water. Dustin was able to join us for a few days and then my mom, grandma, and sisters came up to visit as well.

*We spent quite a bit of time boating this past summer with the Beazer's. There were some amazing falls, great rides, and a lot of laughs!

*In July we went camping for 3 days at East Canyon. The spot was close to others, which was a negative, but we were right on the water and the company was great! There were lots of laughs, and still a night so many of us talk about!

*In August we went camping with the Beazers up by Bear Lake. We spent 3 days there and loved it! We found an amazing campground, that was free and beautiful. We spent time down at the lake and enjoyed a ginormeous pizza.

*We celebrated Carter's 2nd birthday again at Nathan's this year. We had around 70 people come and go. We had the big water slide, cake, presents, and after a little bbq.

*Dustin and I celebrated being married for five years in August. It is crazy to think we have been married that long. Time flies!

*The last week of October we decided to see what we could be preapproved for on a house. We weren't overly serious, but thought we might as well find out where we stand in case we found something we liked.

*The first week of November, while going through the MRL's that our realtor sent us, I saw a house that I loved! It was the only one I five starred, but thought for sure it was mispriced. Later that week, Dustin and I made an offer on that exact home.

*December 8th we closed on our house!

*December 12th we moved in to our very FIRST home!

*December 23rd Dustin's biological father, his wife, and Dustin's half brother flew into Salt Lake. We were all able to meet and spend a short afternoon together.

*May-October Dustin went through supervisor training. He was only supposed to be trained for 3 months, but after one week back in the food court, they pulled him back out to front end supervisor for another three months. We are praying when a position opens, he will get it. He really enjoyed working up front.

*Late September we went camping with Dad, Kel, and the Hansen's. I was almost died by a side swipe with a moose, I fell out of our trailer due to my darling husband forgetting to put down the stabilizers, my dad and I spent some time fishing, and we all froze the first night. It was a great camping trip.

*August 9 I had a ganglion cyst removed from my left hand. The surgeon said it was one of the biggest cysts he had seen on a hand.

*November 22nd my dad went in for a pancreatic treatment, and ended up needing two stents put into his heart. He is doing much better and we are ever so grateful the doctors did more testing and were able to determine the need for his heart. It could have easily been a different situation.

*In the world a lot of events happened. There was a MASSIVE earthquake in Haiti. We had multiple earthquakes around the world. There was the largest oil spill in history in the Gulf Of Mexico. Chilean miners were rescued from a collapsed mine by a capsule.

All and all 2010 was quite a year. We had a lot of ups and downs, but managed to enjoy our year for the most part. I am not necessarily sad to see the year go, but am very grateful for all it brought.

Once again, I find myself humbled and grateful to every person we have shared this year with. I am so lucky to have the family and friends in our life who share all these moments with us. I am blessed to be able to call upon our support system, and have people to make memories with.

Here is to the end of 2010, and the beginning of 2011! HAPPY NEW YEAR!