Reflection

I sit in my bed at 1:35 in the morning. It is officially 2012 and I am swarmed with so many emotions. I have had so many thoughts go through my mind this holiday season...honestly the last 4 months. I have had to come to terms with so many things and challenge myself to continue to keep some sort of stability, not for me but for our son.

In 2011 my family had so much happen, and tonight, I can't help but think how lucky I am to have my friends and family who have supported all of us during this transition. There is no way in hell I would have been able to keep going with out so many people.

I am so sad I didn't blog much the last third of the year. However, in blogging I have to accept the fact that things are not what I had wanted them to be. They are not how the family should have been, so I have found that I have avoided blogging because it's easier to just not.

The end of 2011 for the most part was good. Carter and I, and Dustin and Carter, all began adjusting to the new life. The changes, the schedules, the routines, etc. However, for me, I have had to deal with a void of not having the "family" feeling.I have really missed having the bond that comes with a mom, a dad, and a son living together. Having said that, Dustin and I have remained close and communicate regularly. I can only pray this continues as Carter continues to get older.

Tonight I am ever so grateful that I have a happy, healthy, full of beans 3 year old. He and I definitely have our times but then there are days like today, when everything is just "perfect." There was no fighting, no time out and little sass. It was a day full of love and snuggles and it made me feel like we were doing exactly what we were supposed to be doing.

I am so grateful for my family. Every single member has helped me and reached out to me during this time. There have been several times I find I just want to be alone or work through some of these emotions by myself, and they have tried to sit back and let me do it when need be and pulled me in when it probably wasn't best for me to be alone. I am so glad they all know me so well and know when to push and when to let me go.

I am blessed with a support group of friends. They have helped me more than they will ever know. They have called to say hi, taken me out, spent time with me, and when I was ready to start hanging out, they were there. I kind of had to take a step back on some things for a few months and I am so grateful my friends were just right there waiting for me to get back on my feet.

Tonight I have so much hope in what the new year brings. I pray it brings stability. I pray it brings acceptance of the change and ability to start new traditions, schedules, routines, and time spent together. I pray it brings peace, to all of us. I know we have all had our struggles and I feel like we need comfort in knowing we are right where we are supposed to be. I need courage to continue to do what is right for my family and make choices that are going to benefit Carter and I, not be damaging. The unknown is so scary. I have no idea what our future holds, and it is a little nerve racking not to know which direction to go. In speaking with my aunt the other day she said something to me about the future. My reply was something in the words of, "Right now, I focus on getting out of bed, getting ready, taking a breath, and see where the day brings me. That is all I can really do at this point." There is raw truth to that, and for someone who likes to have a pretty good idea on routine and schedule, to have no clue, is super rough.

Here is to 2012. Please be gentle this year. Please bring happiness and comfort to Carter and me. Please help me in making decisions and being there for anything and everything Carter needs. Please help Dustin and I raise a son who knows how much he is loved and continue to let Dustin and I work as a team when it comes to co-parenting our baby. Please watch over all of our loved ones and bless them with health and strength.

Happy New Year to all my friends and family. I hope this is the best one yet!

Letter 1: A Letter To My Big Sis

Dear S,

It is that time of year again, and I have decided to participate in another year of taking the time to write one person a week, during the month of November, who I am thankful for. I feel like you are the perfect person to start this year out with.
Since June I feel like my life has been a little crazy. From finding out I was pregnant, to then quickly losing my pregnancy, to deciding that Dustin and I needed to separate and eventually divorce, I feel like I have had been on one hell of an emotional ride. With you, you have been one of the few people I have found myself really leaning on and telling so much to. For that I am so grateful to have you. You help keep me positive and help me believe that the direction I am moving towards is a direction I can handle and enjoy.

Being my older sister we have definitely had our fair share of bumping heads and not agreeing with each other. But I am so glad that I have had you as my sister. When we get together with the Murray Gang, I frequently think about the times you and I would spend with that same group 14 years ago, and I love that you and I have those memories of doing it together. I am so glad we have a group of friends that are common so we get to spend time together outside of our regular family gatherings.

You have also saved me when it comes to Carter. I know there are days that he is a handful and challenges your every nerve. But, I am ALWAYS so grateful to know my little boy is safe and in hands that I trust. I know you would never let anything happen to my baby and that you provide him with structure, love, friends, and security. Thank you so much for being so willing to take him in during the days that Dustin and I are working and for being such a large part in my child’s life.
There’s so much more I am grateful for when it comes to you. You know when to just let me walk away and you know when to keep pushing me until I finally tell you what is on my mind. There are days that I may want to hurt ya for that, but I always think in the long run, I am glad we talked.

Thank you again for all you do. I am so glad I have you as not only my sister but as my friend. I really think the past year or so would have been so much more difficult if I didn’t have the love and support from you on a regular basis. I know I make decisions that not everyone agrees with, but I also know I can always talk to you about it, and even if you don’t agree, you will listen.

I love you S!!!

Your Sis,
Lindsey

I Am Thankful

Last year I partcipated in this amazing challenge. I wrote a letter to one person a week thanking them and explaining to them what it is I am thankful for. I loved it. The feeling I received when I told them just how much they mean to me was so great, that I have decided to link up and do it again this year.

Please consider the challenge. I will be sharing my letter's each Thursday through out the month.

HAPPY NOVEMBER!

Late Summer Concert Series

The end of August, first of September, my gang and I hit a bunch of concerts. They turned out to be so fun and the music was pretty good.

The first one we went to was Adelle. This was August 22 at the Gallivan Center. We found a trick to park in a garage and watch from there. Sounds a little wierd, but it was so fun! PLUS, we got to sit in our lawn chairs, talk, listen to the music perfectly, and could even see the stage.





The next concert was the one we had been waiting for the longest. Brad, Kris, and I went to Def Leppard and Heart. I don't know a bunch of the Def Leppard songs, but Heart is one of my favorites. Plus, they played my VERY favorite song, "Alone!" Kristie didn't know as much Heart, but killed it when it came to Def Leppard. The concert turned out to be so fun and the evening was beautiful.






After that Brad and I went to Willie Nelson at the Gallivan Center. Again, in the parking garage. However, this time the crowd was a lot more abnoxious, the music not as loud, and the screens weren't down. So, about an hour into it, we left and went and got some Cold Stone ice cream instead.

The final concert was Wilson Phillips. I LOVE this band, and have since I was a wee one. So, the day of, I sent Tyler to go get us tickets. They were playing at the fair, and the concert was free but you had to get tickets. Ty went and we were thrilled. As we walked in we were taken to our seats. Turns out we had seventh row seats and right in the middle. IT WAS AMAZING!! I love their music and had such a good time.





The concerts have been a blast, and it was so fun to be to so many in such a short amount of time. We don't have any planned for now, but I hear Air Supply in January may be calling our names!

My 29th Birthday

I celebrated the big 2-9 this year, and it was a different birthday. During school it was a lot of fun. My kids are darling and make it all worth while. I had a student bring me a cupcake, another a card, many sang happy birthday, and they were fun.

I then went and picked up my Little Man from Stac and headed home to get ready. I am not sure what happened exactly, but a funk took over and the rest of the day was kind of Bleh.

I met my mom, Gar, Stac, Bri, Coli, and Audra at the Old Spaghetti Factory for dinner. Stacy made a beautiful cake for me and we enjoyed our dinner.



I received new bedding and pillows from them and I must say I LOVE IT!




After dinner I took Carter over to his dad's and then talked to my little sister. My mom had given me a mushy card, which started a tear fest at dinner that was then hard to get under control, unfortunately.

I ended up going with Nathan and Brad to About Time, for a little bit. When I walked in, Nathan had the entire area sing happy birthday to me. It was completley mortifying, but very nice. The boys and I hung out for about an hour and then called it a night.



So...here is to 29. It is SO wierd to be in the position I am in, but I am good. I am very unsure of what lies ahead for this upcoming year, but I am not scared and I am curious as to what will be. Thank you to all who wished me a happy birthday, that was probably the best part of the day. I know I am a pretty lucky girl, with some AMAZING family and friends.

Late Night Outings

This summer we have had a little pack of us that do late night adventures. This has definitely become one of my favorite things of this summer and I look forward to us all getting together at least weekly.

So, this is our group.

We have Jacque, my niece.



Then there is Marissa, Jacques friend who is classic with coming up with what we call "Marissa-isms."



Ty is our young male who keeps us all in order.



Brad has joined us a few times.



Courtney, my niece who recently came along.



My sister in law...Kristie.



And last but not least, me!




So, what do we do? The real question would be what DON'T we do.

Well, it ALWAYS starts with a movie.

After the movie, we pick something else to do with it. We have done Hobbitville, Look out point, Wall Street, I-H-O-P, (famous "Marissa-ism" is that you do not say IHOP...you spell it out...I-H-O-P.) WE drive around downtown, go to parks, etc. So...if you have something fun to do late at nights, please leave a comment as to what it may be so we can go try it out.

We then usually talk and call it a night. The night is never over before 2:30 am, and then my darling baby is awake by 8. So, there are short nights because I refuse to not get up with my Little Man if I have been out by choice. Thank goodness for nap time, because often we both need it. BUT...this is EXACTLY what summer is for!

Much love to my late night groupies, and I look forward to our last few outings before we have to start to readjust our schedules and get ready to be back in school.

Cabin Night Get-Aways

On the 16th of this month, Nathan called and said he had the cabin again for the next few weeks. Remember the cabin? We went last year for an overnighter and really enjoyed ourselves. So, when Nathan extended the invite for a night getaway, I couldn't resist.

After a LONG day of my child locking my keys in my car, Nathan having to go to Costco to get the spare, and an hour or so added to the delay of the trip, Nathan Tyler, Carter and I headed up the canyon. It is such a beautiful cabin and just the right distance away. We made dinner and then called it a night after a movie. We got up early and headed back home.

The following Thursday, July 21, we had the opportunity to sneak away one more time. This time it was Nathan, Brad, Carter and myself. It took awhile to get up there, but the car ride was nice and the weather was beautiful. The boys followed me up, because we had to return the car to the cabin. I had my window and Carter's window down and my Little Peanut had his hand out the window the whole way. The music was on, the sun was setting, and it was PERFECT.

Once we got there, we put Little Man down, and opened a bottle of Moscato. We played a game of Price is Right and Family Feud on the iphones. We then started a couple parroting apps, and ended up laughing forever as the two apps sat back and held a conversation, much like a game of telephone.

Once we were done, we spent a great amount of time outside looking at stars and talking. At first the wind made it a little cool, but as the night went on, the weather warmed and made it very easy to stay outside and keep one another company.

Once morning came, we quickly cleaned up, as we all were DESPERATE for some coffee from good old Maverick! We headed back down the canyon and home to get back to the realities.

These two night get aways were so nice and exactly what we needed. On our way home, Brad, Nathan, and I decided that five years from now we were going to see if we are in a position for a cabin. A little getaway where we can go in an hour and a half, in the late evening, and enjoy a night with friends and family. A place where Christmas parties can be had or a night of star gazing can be completed. Hopefully we can make this happen sooner than later!

RENT

Several years ago I was in New York and saw the sign for a play called, "RENT." I was young and not very worldly and really had no idea what kind of play it would be. So, I opted for Beauty and The Beast and Phantom Of The Opera. They were both incredible and I loved that I had seen both of them on Broadway.

I came home and a few years later, I saw there was a movie called, "RENT." It was based on the play and I was anxious to watch. So, I rented it, watched it, LOVED it, watched it, and eventually bought it.

Ever since I have had this HUGE desire to see "RENT" live. I have wanted to see the characters act and get the whole scoop. Last September, at "The Lion King" in the pamphlet I saw "RENT" was coming to Pioneer Theatre. While we were there I told my mom this was the next MUST see play. Well, most the time I forget, but this one was important enough I continued to pay attention to dates and times.



On Monday my mom and I were talking and agreed to go.

IT. WAS. INCREDIBLE.



The scenery was perfect.

The crowd was so fun.

The seats couldn't have been better.

And I was in HEAVEN.



The music to RENT touches me. There is something about it that reaches my soul and I totally get. I don't know if it is because it is a group of friends who go through huge trials and stick together or if it is that so much of what they discuss is Taboo but so much reality. I don't know...but it gets me.

It was truly one of the VERY best plays I have EVER been to. I was in awe of the performance and loved how they made it their own. Their was more music in the play then in the movie and I thought it just brought the whole story in even more.




I am ever so glad I had the opportunity to see this show. I am going to add to my bucket list to see RENT on Broadway...just so I can say I did.

That's A Wrap

June 3, 2011...THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!

What a year it has been. I have NEVER had a school year like I have had this past year. I have dealt with a group of students from one extreme to another and I think I have grown more professionally and personally these past 10 months then I ever thought could be possible.

I have been tested, tried, and have fallen head over heels for a group of kids I didn't know could absolutely win my heart. This year there has been a challenge in our area that is gang related.

We went through a few weeks where it seemed like we were always breaking up groups, trying to get kids to leave one another alone, focus on school, and do anything but fight. It was emotionally exhausting and the school was wearing thin. However, do to the BEST administration I have EVER had the pleasure working for, things fell back into routine and back on track.

This year I had the pleasure in getting to know a certain group of kids and saw a side I didn't know existed for so many. This group won my heart and I will never forget it. I have had to have some pretty intense conversations with them, have learned about some of their life events out of school, gone head to head with other teachers for the sake of a child instead of a behavior, and in the end had more love and respect from a group most shy away from then I have ever known.

Thursday night Tracy and I attended promotion. I watched one of my kids, whom I have taught since 5th grade, present a speech to the 9th grade class, that I helped him write. I watched close to 300 students walk across the stage to receive their certificate of completion, I bawled like a baby when the concert choir sang Michael Jackson's, "Heal the World," because I do wonder what the world will be like for the next generations.

I lost it when the final student who had promised me would be there, showed up 15 minutes late. As I was wiping tears and feeling like the proudest teacher in the world, I recognized that Tracy and I were the only ones there for a group of students and this broke my heart. So, after, we took pictures, we laughed, and we chatted for a little bit.

As I went home my heart ached for my kids and yet I knew they were there and taking in the moment, their right of passage, like they promised me they would. It meant the world.

Yesterday was yearbook day. I signed everyone of their books with a message of love, hope, and letting them know I cared. They signed mine and Tracy's and said things that I never thought I would have the priviledge to read as a teacher. They loved us and told us how much we made a difference in their life this year. And I really know it was sincere.

As they were wrapping up their year and getting ready to go, they each gave me a hug. I cried again, and told them how great they were. I made them promise me they would come visit and take care of themselves. They promised me they would see me in the fall, which is a big deal for us, and then I ended with, "make good choices."

The promise and the saying to make good choices is what I know they will always remember me by. And if nothing else happened this year, my students all knew they were cared about and loved. They all knew there is someone who believes completely in them. They all knew that I am always going to be here and only an e-mail away.

Next year I have a new vice principal, we found out on Tuesday, and I couldn't be more disappointed. My administration this year has backed me and supported me more than ever. I am so sad to have Scott leave, but in the same breath grateful my kids will have a familiar face as they enter the halls of high school.

Thank you to my 9th grade class...the class of 2014. This year has had ups and downs, but I truly believe it is the best year I have had as an educator. I have had sleepless nights, long days, rough hours, and so much more. Thank you, I will miss you all and fully expect graduation and all major life announcements from each of you! Much love...Take care of you, make good choices, and I promise to see you in
August.

A Fun Filled, Sun Filled Day At Lagoon

On Wednesday I had the opportunity to spend my entire work day, plus some at Lagoon. I have not been to Lagoon in probably 9 years or so, and I was a little nervouse about going. I knew I used to be a HUGE rollecoaster fan, but it has been so many years, I didn't know how I would feel about them at this point in my life.

At 8:30 we loaded the busses, and were at the park by 9:10. Fortunately, there was only one other school there yet, so we walked in and were able to basically walk right on to the white rollercoaster. As soon as I was on the ride and going up, I remembered why I love rollercoasters! I had my hands up for the ride, and once it was over I couldn't wait to go on the next.



Little did I know the next one we would be going on was wicked. I have seen the ride from the road and thought it looked scary. BUT...to be standing in line and getting ready to go on it had me TERRIFIED. Well, Trac loves rollerocasters more than me and was hell bent on going. So, we waited and then we went. And it was AMAZING!!!

(photo from: http://iutah.tv/entity/view/127241/photos/gallery?page=5)

I won't even try to act like I was brave and didn't scream like a 8 year old school girl, because I sure did. I have NEVER been on a coaster like that and it was fantabulous.



While we were walking around, hanging out, I looked in one of the picture booths, and this is what I saw.



A booth full of TOMS...So, I think I am going to submit the picture to TOMS.


We then did a few more rides, ate lunch with the faculty, bombed some kids on rattle snake rapids, went on Wicked again, then the Collosas. After that we walked around and played a couple games. I had to win a toy for Peanut, so I chased a bear up the wall with a water gun, bought a diet coke and called it good.



It truly was so much fun. I will definitely not let it be another 9 years before I go back. There are some rollercoasters to be done, some sun to be soaked in, and some fun at Lagoon!

It Was Just One Of Those Weeks

Monday night I was at Nathan's helping him with homework. We were in the middle of a test when my daddy called. I had Nathan answer and talk with my dad for a minute. It was then my turn. My dad and I were just chatting and then a few minutes later he told me some very sad news. My Uncle Bob had passed away that morning. At first I was at peace with this, but as details unveiled I realized I was upset. I asked if my dad was okay and then hung up.

On my way home that night I called my Aunt Tammy to see how she was holding up. She was in Moab already and started putting things together. I could tell it had been a long day for her and decided we would catch up later.

Tuesday morning, I awakened in a major funk. I was so sad about my Uncle and worried about how my family would be handling his death. I called my Aunt again that morning and had another chat. We cried together and talked about different stories. I then explained my internal conflict of attending the funeral. There was not a way for Dustin to get the weekend off and I felt like it might be to much to have Carter go to Moab and then attempt a service. She agreed and between her and my dad asking me to stay home, I decided I would. I spoke with my sisters Tuesday afternoon, and it turns out all three of us had a rough day.

Wednesday was another long day. I was at work until 5:00 then ran home to get dinner fixings and went straight to Nathan's to do more homework. Thursday night I began school myself, and I won't lie. The entire time I was sitting there I kept thinking, what the hell am I doing? I am not ready for this at all!!! But, I didn't get up and leave, so it looks like I am going to do it...at least this first class.

Friday Dustin and I had a date with IKEA. I was so excited to go buy the small items we had discussed and have a night out. I had decided I would stop off and get my face waxed on the way home. I went to a new place for my waxing, and I have NEVER been in more pain then I was from this session. The woman who waxed my face waxed clear up by my eye, tried to wax my forehead, etc. When I left I was in tears and in so much pain. I got in my car, looked in the mirror, and saw the woman had ripped part of my skin off from underneath my eyes.

I called my mom to vent and she told me she had just walked into my Uncle Bob's house. My Aunt was there and again we had the opportunity to talk. When I asked to speak to my mom again, I lost it. I just cried. I am upset with myself for not going to the funeral. I am upset that I didn't get to see my family and be there for them. I am upset that this dumb lady ripped apart my face and now I look like I have been beaten. I came home and just bawled. I went upstairs, but cold on my face and tried to hide as much of the mess as I could. Turned out that was a bad idea, and had to wash back off all the make-up.



Once I had pulled it together, Dustin and I went to IKEA and enjoyed the evening. My face is pretty tender today, and I would say even looks worse, but it is what it is. I went back to talk to the people who waxed and all they could say was that it was probably due to my acne, which I honestly don't have much of, my menstrual cycle, etc. When I asked if the wax may have been to hot, asked why they would ever wax by someones eyes, etc. they blew me off and told me to come back and try again. I told the lady that would not be happening and walked out.



I just got done talking with my mom and she said the service was beautiful. She said the family did a great job for my Uncle and they were all headed to the park for a picnic to celebrate Uncle Bob's life, and I am so glad they are!



Tonight I am looking to do something fun and bring my spirits back up. Happy Saturday all!

Back To School? I Think I am Crazy!

Last week during a meeting, I had the fear rise in my tummy that I might be changing schools. This is due to certification and I was afraid it was going to happen again. See, I have already been moved before because my degree is in Special Education with an endorsement being severe. Well, the majority of what I do these days requires an endoresement in mild/moderate. So, I asked my boss if I needed to go back to school for an my mild/mod and she replied with no, I would focus on math and reading endorsements instead. Okay, I thought. Maybe I will soon.

Tuesday I received an e-mail from somebody at the District Office stating there is a math endorsement class starting Thursday, April 14. I thought for a minute, Sure maybe I will look into that...Wait! That is in TWO SLEEPS! Hmmm...

To go or not to go...that is the question, that lasted a whole two minutes.

I am going. I can't believe it and I am having huge anxiety about it, but I am doing it.

Why? Because if everything I have heard is correct the school district is going to pay for it. This is a 15 month program, that would cost me a few thousand dollars, and right now there is a grant that will cover it. So...I am going back to school. Starting tonight.

I am terrified of the balancing act. Between being mom, wife, teacher, student, and tutor, I am not sure how I am going to manage it all. But, I will! I am going to setup a schedule and hopefully see if that works. I am also going to start praying...A LOT!!!

So...tonight...from 4-8 I will be in class learning about irrational numbers. Jealous?

Feeling Off

For the past few weeks I have felt like something is wrong and I still don't know what it is. I kept just thinking it was exhaustion and that once spring break got here, I would start to feel better.

Spring break came and went and I think it is getting worse. I don't know how to work WebMD, but am going to research and maybe even make a doctors appointment...MAYBE.

I have been extremely tired lately. Like, one day during spring break I didn't even get out of bed until 3. I am exhausted. I try to get energy and it just isn't working. I am sleeping 7-9 hours usually, and still could crawl into bed and sleep at any given time.

About last week, I started getting the shakes. I was holding a drink and the shakes became visible to a friend of mine. Brad asked what was wrong, but I couldn't tell him.

Since then I have continue to feel the shakes, be tired, and just not feel right. I am so frustrated and don't know what it could be.

Then, I have become emotional. My poor husband doesn't know if he is going to get his loving wife or an emotional basketcase at any time.

Anyway...I am having fun. I am praying it is just due to the weather and the need of some sunshine. Until then...I will continue to search and try to figure out what the hell is going on with me!

Washington Day 3

Day 3 was...hmmm....an experience.

I spent the first part of my morning with a team for one of the students. For the most part they were able to take in the information, ask questions, and come up with a game plan for their student. I was able to meet the parents and I will admit they are what gave me courage to keep explaining information and looking for answers.

I then went for lunch and headed to my second school. This meeting was interesting but it went fine. Near the end of my meeting, I had given the idea of using headphones for one of the students. The family had not found a pair of headphones that the child would wear, and I mentioned skullcandys. I wanted to try it and see if the student would even just wear them around their neck.

Once the child came down, I talked to them and asked if we could listen to a story together. They agreed, so we put them on around the neck. After a few minutes, they were on their ears, and the student loved them. The child immediately began smiling and truly made my heart melt.

I was so excited that I was able to find a pair of headphones that would work for them. I asked the school and family to please keep them there so if the child needed them, they were there. As I left, I felt like if nothing else I had left them with a tool.

I found sadness in my heart as I walked out of that school on Wednesday. What lies ahead for those kiddoes is challenging, and heartbreaking. I wish I could take a part of the pain with me back home, so that the families wouldn't have to endure so much.

I got in my car and immediately headed back to Seattle. I felt like there was nothing else I could do there and was anxious to see Liz. Unfortunately the drive took me a little less than four hours due to a horrible snow storm, but I made it to Liz's with very little problems.





I had the pleasure to meet Liz's husband, Brad, and the three of us went to dinner. We then checked into my hotel and headed back to their home. After a few minutes of chatting, we were all exhausted so I went back into Seattle.




With very little fuss, I was able to refind my hotel, but could not find a parking spot. I drove and drove but did not know where to park my car. I finally decided to just go with valet, got all my stuff unloaded, and then read a sign that said, "Valet parking $27 + taxes" FORGET THAT!!!

Back into my car...Driving...Driving...Driving...Finally called the hotel only to find out they DO NOT HAVE PARKING unless you valet. WHAT! I was so unhappy, but what do you do?

I unloaded everything again, went up to my room and went to bed. I was pretty drained, and anxious for morning.

Washington Day 1

Monday morning, I ran to the district office to grab a cheap talk to take to Washington, and then over to Nathan's for him to take me to the airport. I got checked in, went through security, and then just waited. In the meantime I received several much needed text messages of encouragement, and made a quick phone call to my dad to promise him I would be back on Thursday.

I boarded my plane, and then turned on my music and just chilled. It was so nice to just kind of unwind. I was pretty nervous going on a vacation all by myself, but knew I needed to do it.

Quick fill in on what I was going to Washington for.

I am an educational consulatant for Battens Disease. Battens in a degenerative disease that is genetic and fatal. I was trained a few years ago, and I am currently the only one trained in the western United States. A school in Wenatchee contacted me a few weeks ago to discuss a couple of students who have this disease. We reviewed some information, and a couple weeks later they requested I come out and spend some time with them. So, I was going there to meet with the special education team, the parents, and specialists to help them grasp and understand the disease.

Once I got to Washington, I was completely overwhelmed. I had to take a train to get my baggage, then had to go out to an "island" and call for a shuttle to my rental car. Once the shuttle arrived, I drove to Advantage and was trying to get my car. Well, what Advantage did not tell me is they have a massive deposit, fees, and gas charges, on top of what was being paid, which was well over $500. I didn't have a credit card that would hold that much, and asked if they would let me split the charges. Well she ran my cards 3 times, and then told me she was sorry, but no longer would be able to rent a car to me. I asked why, and asked if she had seperated the charges, and after talking, it was basically "Sorry...sucks to be you."

So, back on the shuttle I got. I called Dustin bawling, telling him my sad story. I knew there was nothing he could do, but I was extremely frustrated. I went back to the airport, caught another shuttle, and ended up at Dollar rentals, which turned out to be a much better deal in the long run.

I plugged in my hotel address to Wenatchee into my GPS and was on my way. It was a beautiful drive, and about 2 1/2 hours away from Seattle.









I finally arrived to my hotel, checked in, immediately asked where a liquor store was, got back in my car, bought a bottle of Moscato, and then returned. I got into my room, settled in, and tried to relax. I spoke with my Dad, Dustin, Nathan, and Brad, and then called it a night. I was feeling much better being on a trip all alone, once I was there.

Leaving My Outer Heart...

Last Sunday I was feeling completely overwhelmed. I was going out of town for a consultation on Batten Disease, and Carter was sick. I spent the whole afternoon in an instacare with my Little Man, who had a fever of 102, and not doing great.

After 2 1/2 hours, we finally saw a doctor just to have them say, they believe it was just another virus and he is contagious for 3-5 days. Great!




I called my sister and she said she would rather not have Peanut for the week then because her kids were just getting rid of some yucky gamboo and didn't want them to get sick again. So...we called Granny and Papa.




That night Dustin and I ran Carter up to Logan to spend the next few days with them. I knew he was in good hands but I must confess I was heartbroken. I did not want to go to Seattle while my baby was sick.



However, after some sweet loves and knowing he was in good hands, I knew I must continue with my trip. It was important for me to leave my outer heart in Logan to go help the heart of another mother.

Taking On A Project

Several weeks ago Dustin bought a couple of fish tanks, a stand, and all of the stuff to fill the tank off KSL. I had told him I did not want a tank that big, but never really looked at it. He stored it in the bathroom downstairs, and since I never go down there it became out of sight out of mind.

The other day I needed to go downstairs, and for the first time I saw the tank and stand. Let me just say it was hideous!



But, I looked at it, and decided I kind of liked it. It just needed a LOT of TLC.



Yesterday afternoon, once Dustin was home, I decided to go to Lowe's and see what I could find. I had the idea of paining it teal with white over it. I don't have tons of money, so I just decided to go look at the oops paint. I found a can that was a blue/teal color for $2.50! I decided that would be perfect! I then had them mix me up a can of off white. I was going to buy some crackle but it was $24 and I didn't want to spend that much, so I just went home.

Once I got home I took off the doors and the hardware and began my little project. I painted the whole thing blue, and I loved it!!!



I knew I wanted to cackle it so I let it dry overnight. Last night as I was on the internet I decided to see if Michael's sold crackle, and they did! So, first thing this morning, I ran to Michael's and found it for $5. I then found the finishing spray and a basket on sale. I had a 20% off coupon and ended up paying $18 for everything! HOORAY for waiting!

I got home and applied the crackle and then had to wait a couple more hours.



Once it was dry, I applied the white. If I am being honest with myself, I am not sure how I felt about it once it was on. I have never done this by myself before and decided, what the hell, if I hate it, I will just junk the dumb thing anyway. So, I finished painting on the white. I then waited for it to dry and then applied the finishing spray. Still didn't know if I was going to love it.

The spray dried and I finally got to reapply the hardware. When I was done, I recognized I was grinning. I then couldn't wait to get it upstairs into the front room, to see how it looked. So, I carried it up and ended up taking a chunk out of my side, but it was worth it!

I got it in the right spot, put on the basket I bought at Michael's and I am SUPER stoked with how it turned out!



HOORAH!!!!

Starting To Feel Like Home

Saturday morning Carter and I went to Gymboree like we usually do. He wasn't feeling up to par and I could tell it might be one of those days where home is thebest option. I didn't want to just go home and do nothing, I wanted to do something, but didn't know what. So, on our way home, I decided to stop by Michaels and see what I could find to entertain myself with.

I have this wall in my house, by my back door, that I don't love. It is big, empty, and makes me cringe when I look at it. You should probably know I have hung a total of two pictures in my house and that simply is just so I felt like somebody lived here. I don't know if they will even remain where they are, but we hung them shortly after moving in and have done ZERO decorating since.




While at Michael's I thought of this wall and decided maybe I should see if I can find a way to decorate it. So I just started cruising,I had an idea that I wanted to hang letters and my family pictures done by Brein. Rather than that...I. HAD. NO. IDEA!!!

But as I cruised I found letters I like, so I spelt this...



I then found these words, and though I didn't know what I was going to do with them, I decided I like them a lot for a buck each.



As I continued to roam, I found paint on sale for 29 cents and ribbon 3/$1.



I decided I better buy Carter something to work on so that he doesn't want to "help" with my little project so I got him this, and let me tell you, he loves it!!!



So after some paint, some glue, and some much needed me time, it turned out like this!



I must say, I like it. I think it is different and something that makes our home feel more like our home!