So, I didn't get to blog yesterday, due to a series of birthday events, but I wanted to write about what happened a year ago from yesterday a day late.
July 26, 2008: It started with a phone call from our agency and immediately we were talking money. Jane started explaining to us travel expenses, hospital expenses, money and time spent with Keita before due date etc. It was all very overwhelming, but I was able to manage until Jane tells me the following.
Keita is from Georgia, which is the most expensive hub in the country to have people flying from into Salt Lake. Go figure. So our travel expense right now was a little over $1500. Well, I then find out that that is only one way! So I am going to have to pay that much for them to get home as well. Okay...I will figure it out. Then, I get this...The birth father is going to be flying in on Wednesday and you will also have to pay for that expense!
Wait! WHAT!?!?!?! So, I ask, are you telling me I am looking at over $5000 in travel, and the reply is a simple yes. Okay, now I understood adoption to some extent but the things you just don't count on can drop me to my knees!
So, I hang up the phone and am immediately feeling very discouraged! I call my mom and tell her that we are going to have to reconsider. There just not might be a way for us to afford this situation. Once again there is immediate disappointment and frustration for both Dustin and me.
Well after several phone calls, to a million people, Dustin and I got so frustrated my mom said, "Just go pick up Keita. We will figure everything out." So, that is exactly what we were headed to do.
Dustin and I were talking about what we were going to do and pulled into Costco for gas. My cell phone rang, AGAIN, and it was my agency, AGAIN!!! I was very frustrated and answered probably a little abruptly. Jane says to me, "Hi, Lindsey. Are you heading to get Nekeita yet?" And me being the mellow person I am, firmly states back, "We are on our way, I was just trying to figure out finances!"
This is what I hear next, "Well, turn around. There has been a change of plans. Nekeita's water just broke and we will be heading towards the hospital shortly. She would like you there as soon as you can. Congratulations, you are becoming parents very quickly!"
As you can imagine our attitudes changed immediately and everything fell into place. We called our parents, ran to see my mom, cried A LOT!, and got some last minute things together. Then headed towards the hospital.
Once we got to the hospital Nekeita was very excited to see us. We spent the afternoon together and she just kept informing us that she wasn't ready, but apparently that didn't matter because Carter was. Internally I was thanking all my lucky stars, because now we would be able to keep this baby!
After a few quick hours 6:30 came around and Keita began began pushing. At 6:47 pm on July 26th, 2008 our 6 lbs 5 oz 19 in. long son, Dustin Carter was born. I was so fortunate to be in the delivery room and able to cut his umbilical cord. It was the most amazing thing that I will never forget!
Carter immediately left the room and then was shortly put to a Level 2 baby due to rapid breathing. Because we were adoptive parents we didn't get many rights. Thankfully a nurse let us in to see him, but we were not able to hold him or be in there long. That was the toughest.
That night Dustin, Keita, and myself shared a hospital room. We were not able to see Carter after, except through windows, but we were able to spend some amazing time with Keita.
It truly was one of the BEST days of our lives!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Meeting Nekeita!
Dustin and I met Nekeita a year ago today. To think about the day we spent with her truly almost brings me to tears. I blogged about this woman several months ago, and was able to post some pictures of her as well. If you haven't read that blog, please feel free to. http://ourliladamsfamily.blogspot.com/2009_01_01_archive.html She is incredible.
This blog is going to be about our feelings that day. As Dustin and I got ready for our adventure we had so many mixed emotions. We had such great disappointment from the day before and didn't want to get our hopes up. Yet, here we were going to meet a woman and child who might pick us to be their adoptive family! Its HUGE!!!
On our way to Layton Dustin and I just kept trying to figure out questions, looks, and most importantly what in the hell we would have on the radio when she got in the car. Sounds crazy right? Probably but when you are on display and advertising yourselves to make a family, you really do think about everything! I think we decided on a mix of U2 and Sarah McClachlan.
Once we got to Layton we called to let Nekeita know we were here. Within minutes out walks a beautiful woman and little boy. She looks maybe 5 months pregnant and is beaming. I get out and introduce myself and she gives me a huge hug. Instantly all the little fears of what kind of music disappears.
It was so easy for Dustin, Keita, and I to talk. We were able to chat like we had been friends for an entire lifetime. It was really such an amazing experience. Everything just felt so right.
We took Keita to lunch at Joe's Crab Shack and then headed to the Fashion Place Mall to pick up some things she needed for her hospital stay. As we were in Motherhood, Keita asked Dustin and I what we wanted to name our baby. We said Dustin Carter. At that moment Nekeita took hold of her little belly and said "Well, hello there Dustin Carter." And that was it.
By the end of the day Keita had told us we would be the adoptive family for her little boy. We had an amazing time together and had agreed to see her the following day.
As Dustin and I left early that evening we were on cloud 9. We both kept saying we didn't want to get our hopes up again, but now it seemed even more real. We just spent the day with this amazing woman who was carrying our son.
We went to Dustin's sisters house after and started trying to figure out what we were going to do each day with Keita. Once you are placed it is the adoptive families opportunity to spend a lot of time with your birth family. Which is great, unless everything costs a ton and money is tight!
As we were planning what to do with Keita on Saturday my cell phone rang. Jane from our agency was calling to ask how our day with Keita went. We told her how amazing it was, and she said, "Congratulations! Keita felt the exact same. She has chosen the two of you to be her adoptive family. Tomorrow we will be signing our placement papers."
HOORAY!!! We called all sets of parents that night and asked if they would take a day to meet Keita and host an activity. We were trying to save money but still have the opportunity to spend time with Keita. They all happily agreed.
So, our first trip would be to Logan, the following day, to spend the day with Dustin's family!
This blog is going to be about our feelings that day. As Dustin and I got ready for our adventure we had so many mixed emotions. We had such great disappointment from the day before and didn't want to get our hopes up. Yet, here we were going to meet a woman and child who might pick us to be their adoptive family! Its HUGE!!!
On our way to Layton Dustin and I just kept trying to figure out questions, looks, and most importantly what in the hell we would have on the radio when she got in the car. Sounds crazy right? Probably but when you are on display and advertising yourselves to make a family, you really do think about everything! I think we decided on a mix of U2 and Sarah McClachlan.
Once we got to Layton we called to let Nekeita know we were here. Within minutes out walks a beautiful woman and little boy. She looks maybe 5 months pregnant and is beaming. I get out and introduce myself and she gives me a huge hug. Instantly all the little fears of what kind of music disappears.
It was so easy for Dustin, Keita, and I to talk. We were able to chat like we had been friends for an entire lifetime. It was really such an amazing experience. Everything just felt so right.
We took Keita to lunch at Joe's Crab Shack and then headed to the Fashion Place Mall to pick up some things she needed for her hospital stay. As we were in Motherhood, Keita asked Dustin and I what we wanted to name our baby. We said Dustin Carter. At that moment Nekeita took hold of her little belly and said "Well, hello there Dustin Carter." And that was it.
By the end of the day Keita had told us we would be the adoptive family for her little boy. We had an amazing time together and had agreed to see her the following day.
As Dustin and I left early that evening we were on cloud 9. We both kept saying we didn't want to get our hopes up again, but now it seemed even more real. We just spent the day with this amazing woman who was carrying our son.
We went to Dustin's sisters house after and started trying to figure out what we were going to do each day with Keita. Once you are placed it is the adoptive families opportunity to spend a lot of time with your birth family. Which is great, unless everything costs a ton and money is tight!
As we were planning what to do with Keita on Saturday my cell phone rang. Jane from our agency was calling to ask how our day with Keita went. We told her how amazing it was, and she said, "Congratulations! Keita felt the exact same. She has chosen the two of you to be her adoptive family. Tomorrow we will be signing our placement papers."
HOORAY!!! We called all sets of parents that night and asked if they would take a day to meet Keita and host an activity. We were trying to save money but still have the opportunity to spend time with Keita. They all happily agreed.
So, our first trip would be to Logan, the following day, to spend the day with Dustin's family!
Friday, July 24, 2009
Disappointment....And Yet!
A year ago today Dustin and I anxiously awaited a phone call telling us our birthmom and son were here. We paced back and forth and were going stir crazy waiting to go meet our little man. Around 1:00 that afternoon, the phone call from our agency finally came in. They told us our birthmother was a no show, and they would be showing our file later on that day to other birthmom's.
Dustin and I were incredibly disappointed. We were so bummed out it kind of sucked the life out of us for the remainder of the day. To go from such a high to such a low,is so hard, and made us fear how many times an event like this might occur. We had to call all of our families and let them know, there would not be a new member introduced to them today.
As the day progressed Dustin and I received another phone call from our agency. We were told there was a birthmom who was having a little boy and would like to meet us. They told us she was trying to decide between Dustin and I and another couple. They asked if we would be willing to meet her with the understanding that she may not pick us to be the adoptive family.
Dustin and I sat down and talked. We really wanted to meet our birthmom and have sometime with her, so we both agreed immediately that this was something we would like to do. We also braced ourselves for understanding of us not being picked.
We again told our immediate family, but just played it really low knowing it may fall through just as easily as the one we had experienced earlier that day. We talked to our agency and agreed to take our birthmom, Nekeita, out to lunch the following day.
That night we both went to bed saying we didn't have our hopes up for this little boy, but Lord knows we really did!
Dustin and I were incredibly disappointed. We were so bummed out it kind of sucked the life out of us for the remainder of the day. To go from such a high to such a low,is so hard, and made us fear how many times an event like this might occur. We had to call all of our families and let them know, there would not be a new member introduced to them today.
As the day progressed Dustin and I received another phone call from our agency. We were told there was a birthmom who was having a little boy and would like to meet us. They told us she was trying to decide between Dustin and I and another couple. They asked if we would be willing to meet her with the understanding that she may not pick us to be the adoptive family.
Dustin and I sat down and talked. We really wanted to meet our birthmom and have sometime with her, so we both agreed immediately that this was something we would like to do. We also braced ourselves for understanding of us not being picked.
We again told our immediate family, but just played it really low knowing it may fall through just as easily as the one we had experienced earlier that day. We talked to our agency and agreed to take our birthmom, Nekeita, out to lunch the following day.
That night we both went to bed saying we didn't have our hopes up for this little boy, but Lord knows we really did!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Situation Number 1
Well, here is my second post to my week as we are nearing Peanut's birthday.
A year ago today, I was getting ready to go to lunch with some of my dearest friends from work. I was in the shower when my phone rang, so once I was out I saw I had missed a call from my agency. I had a voicemail, so I listened to it and it went something like this...
"Hi Dustin and Lindsey, this is Jane from Heart and Soul. Listen...we have a situation. We have a six week old African American boy who is flying in tomorrow with his birthmother. She has picked the two of you to be the adoptive family, and we are wondering if you are interested. Please call us as soon as you can."
OMG!!! I couldn't believe it had all happened so fast. Our file had been opened for two days and we were being placed. Dustin and I got so excited, we called Jane back immediately, and said, "Of course we are interested and 100% willing to take this little man."
They told us the birth mom would be flying in either late that night or first thing the next morning. We would be signing placement papers fairly soon after, and we would be bringing home our son tomorrow.
Well, in order to make the day go faster, I continued to lunch with my girlfriends. I told them all of the exciting news, ate lunch, and then anxiously got back home to Dustin. We went and bought one outfit, got the car seat in, and spent the rest of the night anxiously awaiting a phone call.
We didn't get a call that evening, so we went to bed. Tomorrow is the day we bring home our little man! Needless to say we had a tough time sleeping when we thought our little boy was traveling home! It was a VERY exciting day.
Tomorrow we learn about the next step in our adoption process!
A year ago today, I was getting ready to go to lunch with some of my dearest friends from work. I was in the shower when my phone rang, so once I was out I saw I had missed a call from my agency. I had a voicemail, so I listened to it and it went something like this...
"Hi Dustin and Lindsey, this is Jane from Heart and Soul. Listen...we have a situation. We have a six week old African American boy who is flying in tomorrow with his birthmother. She has picked the two of you to be the adoptive family, and we are wondering if you are interested. Please call us as soon as you can."
OMG!!! I couldn't believe it had all happened so fast. Our file had been opened for two days and we were being placed. Dustin and I got so excited, we called Jane back immediately, and said, "Of course we are interested and 100% willing to take this little man."
They told us the birth mom would be flying in either late that night or first thing the next morning. We would be signing placement papers fairly soon after, and we would be bringing home our son tomorrow.
Well, in order to make the day go faster, I continued to lunch with my girlfriends. I told them all of the exciting news, ate lunch, and then anxiously got back home to Dustin. We went and bought one outfit, got the car seat in, and spent the rest of the night anxiously awaiting a phone call.
We didn't get a call that evening, so we went to bed. Tomorrow is the day we bring home our little man! Needless to say we had a tough time sleeping when we thought our little boy was traveling home! It was a VERY exciting day.
Tomorrow we learn about the next step in our adoption process!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
And Our Story Opened...
I have seen several friends do this and I have decided I really wanted to do it as well. Our Little Man turns one on Sunday, and I want to do a little log of the events leading up to the best day of our life.
A year ago today Dustin and I were in Logan, while Dustin was recovering from surgery. We had been anxiously awaiting to hear back from the adoption agency to find out if we we were accepted and when our file would open.
I remember calling first thing in the morning because we had been so incredibly anxious to find out. I called about 11, and Jane answered her phone. I asked her where our file stood, and she said, "Congratulations! We just had our meeting and your file is officially open. We will start showing your profiles to birthmother's immediately."
They then went on to tell us to keep our phones near all times from this point forward because when the situation came in, the baby might already be here. So, I hung up with Jane and Dustin and I celebrated with his family. We were so excited to finally be in a situation where we were going to be expanding our family.
A year ago today was a very promising day for our family! Stay tuned through out the week....
A year ago today Dustin and I were in Logan, while Dustin was recovering from surgery. We had been anxiously awaiting to hear back from the adoption agency to find out if we we were accepted and when our file would open.
I remember calling first thing in the morning because we had been so incredibly anxious to find out. I called about 11, and Jane answered her phone. I asked her where our file stood, and she said, "Congratulations! We just had our meeting and your file is officially open. We will start showing your profiles to birthmother's immediately."
They then went on to tell us to keep our phones near all times from this point forward because when the situation came in, the baby might already be here. So, I hung up with Jane and Dustin and I celebrated with his family. We were so excited to finally be in a situation where we were going to be expanding our family.
A year ago today was a very promising day for our family! Stay tuned through out the week....
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
The Passing Of A Legend
I am sitting here watching the memorial service of Michael Jackson, and it is crazy to me to believe he is gone. Rather you liked Michael Jackson as a person, people respect him for his entertainment ability!
As I watch the service, and see the people who speak about him so highly, I question if he truly did do the things he was accussed of. Now, I am not being naive, and have never really even thought twice about the accusations until the past week. But in hearing people speak about MJ and seeing in interviews how child like he was off stage, I wonder if with the abuse and the ability of not having a normal childhood to any extent, if he truly just never grew up.
I think the memorial service has been beautiful and the incredible tributes and words given about him, were of the up-most respect. To hear the compassion he had for people of all kinds, brings chills to my mind.
I grew up on Michael Jackson music, as I am sure most of us did. I will never forget how many times hearing just a song of his has brought back memories of my life and made me smile. It is crazy for me to realize that the biggest music legend of my time has passed. He will not be forgotten any time soon and his music will continue to be played in my car, on my ipod, and in my home.
God Bless Michael Jackson and what he gave to our world! If nothing else, he paved the road for music, entertainment, and a path for people who are African American to live the AMERICAN DREAM! And for that, rest in peace, M.J.!
As I watch the service, and see the people who speak about him so highly, I question if he truly did do the things he was accussed of. Now, I am not being naive, and have never really even thought twice about the accusations until the past week. But in hearing people speak about MJ and seeing in interviews how child like he was off stage, I wonder if with the abuse and the ability of not having a normal childhood to any extent, if he truly just never grew up.
I think the memorial service has been beautiful and the incredible tributes and words given about him, were of the up-most respect. To hear the compassion he had for people of all kinds, brings chills to my mind.
I grew up on Michael Jackson music, as I am sure most of us did. I will never forget how many times hearing just a song of his has brought back memories of my life and made me smile. It is crazy for me to realize that the biggest music legend of my time has passed. He will not be forgotten any time soon and his music will continue to be played in my car, on my ipod, and in my home.
God Bless Michael Jackson and what he gave to our world! If nothing else, he paved the road for music, entertainment, and a path for people who are African American to live the AMERICAN DREAM! And for that, rest in peace, M.J.!
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