Who Painted Me?

Last night, it was late, and I was getting Carter ready for bed. Out of the blue he asked me, "Who painted you white?" I answered with, "NeeNers and Papa Jeff." He seemed to understand that, but then immediately came back with, "Well, who painted me Chocolate?"

In doing some research, Dustin and I are very aware that come the age of three, children start to see the difference in color. They start to identify different ethnicities and such around them. In the past month or so, whenever Carter see's a child who is African-American, he will say, "Hey, him Chocolate like me!" We always answer with something like, "yes, he is. Isn't he so handsome?" Then Carter will identify the other children on the box and say, "him not chocolate, her not chocolate..." and point to the other kids. So we knew the conversations would start to be coming sooner than later.

Last night, Carter asked who painted him. I figured this was the perfect time to start conversing with him about his adoption and his birth family. I explained to Carter that he had another family. This was his birth family. I told him that they were chocolate like him and that is why he is chocolate.

He then asked me where he came from. So I told him his birthmom's tummy. He asked, "why not your tummy?" I tried to explain to him that mommy has not been able to have effective pregnancy's and I couldn't get him to us by myself. So, his birth family created him for us.

Then he said..."What there name?" So, I told him. I told him about his birth mom, dad, and brother. I told him how amazing they all were and how much we love and appreciate them. We talked about how lucky we were that they picked us. He then asked, "Why they pick you?"

Honestly, I will never know how or why she picked us to be the lucky ones to raise our baby. I will always be in awe that they had enough faith and belief in Dustin and I to raise our child. But I don't have any idea how to explain that part to my soon to be 3 year old. So, I told him what his birthmom said. I said, "I don't know baby, your birthmom said she took one look at a picture of mommy and daddy and knew we were supposed to be a family."

The conversation carried on for probably 20 minutes. A lot of him trying to understand why he has two sets of parents, and us trying to explain how lucky he is. I made sure to tell him over and over that they loved him so much, and just felt like he belonged with us. That they had created him for Dustin and I so we could all be a family, because that was the only way it could happen.

As the conversation was ending, it dawned on me, I could show our baby a picture of his birth mom and brother. Fortunately, I had blogged some pictures of the two of them before our safe was stolen that held all of the pictures of us together. I showed him how beautiful his birth mom was and how cute his brother was. When he saw the pictures he said, "there chocolate like me!" It touched my heart. I don't want to say any other words then I was in awe that my little boy was learning his adoption story at such a young age. I was in awe at the smile he got when he saw them and I truly believe there was maybe a small glimpse of understanding the role of his birth family and his mom and dad.

As the night came to close, Dustin and I both pulled in our little chocolate bunny for some loves. We explained how much we loved him and how grateful we are that his birth family brought him into the world for us and for our family to be complete. I can only pray that as the questions continue, the correct answers do too. We want our little man to be proud of who he is and where he came from. We want him to know how much he is loved by both families and how lucky we are to have him as part of ours. It truly is an evening I will never forget.

I love and am ever so grateful for adoption and our families birth family.

One Night A Year....

One night a year, my family of three, goes to a barbecue. While we are there, every family is very similar to ours. There are TONS of children, most African American. There are tons of parents, most caucasian. And we ALL have something in common...we all adopted from Heart and Soul, at least once.

Last night we went to the annual Heart and Soul barbecue. We have gone every year since we got Carter and look forward to it everytime. For those short few hours we are surrounded by people who know what it is truly like to walk the adoption path. Who know how much love is given to a child, even if they aren't biologically ours. During those short hours we are surrounded by families who look just like ours, and I. LOVE. IT!!!

The families all seem to awe every child there. Every one has an adoption story, similar backgrounds, but every one different, every one special. People are friendly and look forward to talking with families there. Everyone wants to know the person sitting next to them story, because they can relate and understand. The love for every child there is shown and it exuberates a special kind of atmosphere.

As we were there last night I saw a woman there, and I had a thought that she is probably a birthmom. Then in speaking with one of the owners of our agency, we found out she was. This birthmom started looking around for a little boy. He is 2 1/2 years old and she wanted to know if she could spot this little man out of a crowd. I don't know if she found him or if they were introduced but I watched.

I am sitting at a table watching this family with their birthmother and I am in awe. I am watching this birthmother look at her son in admiration. The love she had for this little man beamed from her face. She was grinning ear to ear and overly joyed with having that short time with the little person she carried.

While I was watching this interaction I became pretty emotional. So many of us are so blessed by adoption and by birth families. Our family wouldn't be here without them. I am so grateful. To then watch this birthmother share that special moment with her son and adoptive family.

I hope one day Carter and Keita have the opportunity to meet. I hope one day he gets to see how much his birthmom loves him. Last night, I was affirmed that when you adopt their are two mommy's and daddy's for that little person. One parental group created and decided to carry their little person. Then at some point, determine they cannot raise this child and place the baby for adoption. The next set of parentals come in and grasp that child with all the love they have and never look back. Pretty damn incredible...both sides.

Every day goes on, and I often think how grateful I am for our adoption story. It is magical. It is real. It is the ultimate love. I know Dustin and I are not done adopting. I don't have any idea how we will ever come up with a way to afford it again, but I know when the time is right, the money will come and our next child will be waiting. Knowing that gets me through rough times and I think to myself...I can't wait to do it again!

Praying For Haiti

Tonight I received several different text messages from my husband stating how sad he is for the people in Haiti. Dustin has been reading different articles, seeing pictures of children, and looking at the wreckage from the 7.0 earthquake on January 12.



As my text messages were coming in, my husband was saying how badly he wishes he could protect some of the small children who are suffering so terribly. He went on to tell me that babies, five and six months old, don't even have a name, they have numbers. They are in desperate need of placing children into homes, trying to get children into hospitals where they can be taken care of, children who are suffering from dehydration, starvation, injuries, and the list goes on.



I sat there looking at pictures, that literally brought tears to my eyes and made my stomach turn, of the people in Haiti. The hell they are living through, makes me truly wonder how would I survive...Honestly, I don't think I would. To have enough belief in life to get up and keep going the next day, while seeing your world in shambles, blows me away. My heart truly aches for this country, these people and their children.



I began to do some research, as my husband had asked, to see if we could find a way to get involved in adopting one or two of these children. Here is what I could find. It looks like all adoptions have been closed for now. It also appears that the United States is trying to get a grant past, where some of the funding and expense will be provided if you are willing to adopt a child. However, until further notice, this is not an option.



Now, I understand the desire to want to reunite these children with family. I would pray someone would take the time to look for Carter's family. Having said that, there are over a million children right now, who they know need to be placed into orphanages or homes. Yet as these children are suffering they are closing the door to adoptive families. I am not advocating for anybody to be able to step in and adopt. However, I do feel like if you have a current home study, and can get your paperwork together, people should be able to step in and start taking some of these children into our homes.



Dustin and I have wanted more children ever since we were placed with Carter. We have never closed our adoption doors because we believe we have more children coming to us. To hear there are so many babies and children in desperate need of a family, and to know we are a family who would love to have more children, is heartbreaking. Dustin said to me tonight, I fear agencies are going to try to make a fortune out of a crisis. Now, I hadn't really thought that way, but after he said that, it literally made me ill to believe that may be exactly what happens. There are so many families who want children and are willing to pay to get them, yet don't have the financial means to do so. It is unfair that money becomes an issue that stops families from being able to find one another. If you hear of ways to get involved in adopting some of these children, please let me know immediately. Dustin and I truly are trying to find a way to bring one or two of these little ones home.



I pray some how, through the madness and hell Haiti is going through, the people can find some sort of comfort in their grief. I pray for the families who are searching for their loved ones, God bless you in your search. I pray that the grant goes through, where some of the finance becomes available to help adoptive families be placed with some of these children who are living an absolute nightmare. My heart truly aches for all those people in Haiti and what they are going through tonight.



I usually don't look at the articles and pictures after tragedies such as this. I find it very hard for me to deal with this type of disaster mentally and imagine what it would be like to see suffering such as this. Tonight I am humbled by it all. I like to bitch about my year so far, and tonight, I would like to apologize for all of my whining. My life is good. I have an amazing husband who brings these thoughts to my attention. I have the world's sweetest baby boy tucked safely in his bed sound asleep. I have a family who supports me and a job that provides for me. Tonight I am humbled. Tonight I am blessed. Tonight...I am grateful for exactly where my life is.

Birth Day

So, I didn't get to blog yesterday, due to a series of birthday events, but I wanted to write about what happened a year ago from yesterday a day late.

July 26, 2008: It started with a phone call from our agency and immediately we were talking money. Jane started explaining to us travel expenses, hospital expenses, money and time spent with Keita before due date etc. It was all very overwhelming, but I was able to manage until Jane tells me the following.

Keita is from Georgia, which is the most expensive hub in the country to have people flying from into Salt Lake. Go figure. So our travel expense right now was a little over $1500. Well, I then find out that that is only one way! So I am going to have to pay that much for them to get home as well. Okay...I will figure it out. Then, I get this...The birth father is going to be flying in on Wednesday and you will also have to pay for that expense!

Wait! WHAT!?!?!?! So, I ask, are you telling me I am looking at over $5000 in travel, and the reply is a simple yes. Okay, now I understood adoption to some extent but the things you just don't count on can drop me to my knees!

So, I hang up the phone and am immediately feeling very discouraged! I call my mom and tell her that we are going to have to reconsider. There just not might be a way for us to afford this situation. Once again there is immediate disappointment and frustration for both Dustin and me.

Well after several phone calls, to a million people, Dustin and I got so frustrated my mom said, "Just go pick up Keita. We will figure everything out." So, that is exactly what we were headed to do.

Dustin and I were talking about what we were going to do and pulled into Costco for gas. My cell phone rang, AGAIN, and it was my agency, AGAIN!!! I was very frustrated and answered probably a little abruptly. Jane says to me, "Hi, Lindsey. Are you heading to get Nekeita yet?" And me being the mellow person I am, firmly states back, "We are on our way, I was just trying to figure out finances!"

This is what I hear next, "Well, turn around. There has been a change of plans. Nekeita's water just broke and we will be heading towards the hospital shortly. She would like you there as soon as you can. Congratulations, you are becoming parents very quickly!"

As you can imagine our attitudes changed immediately and everything fell into place. We called our parents, ran to see my mom, cried A LOT!, and got some last minute things together. Then headed towards the hospital.

Once we got to the hospital Nekeita was very excited to see us. We spent the afternoon together and she just kept informing us that she wasn't ready, but apparently that didn't matter because Carter was. Internally I was thanking all my lucky stars, because now we would be able to keep this baby!

After a few quick hours 6:30 came around and Keita began began pushing. At 6:47 pm on July 26th, 2008 our 6 lbs 5 oz 19 in. long son, Dustin Carter was born. I was so fortunate to be in the delivery room and able to cut his umbilical cord. It was the most amazing thing that I will never forget!

Carter immediately left the room and then was shortly put to a Level 2 baby due to rapid breathing. Because we were adoptive parents we didn't get many rights. Thankfully a nurse let us in to see him, but we were not able to hold him or be in there long. That was the toughest.

That night Dustin, Keita, and myself shared a hospital room. We were not able to see Carter after, except through windows, but we were able to spend some amazing time with Keita.

It truly was one of the BEST days of our lives!

Meeting Nekeita!

Dustin and I met Nekeita a year ago today. To think about the day we spent with her truly almost brings me to tears. I blogged about this woman several months ago, and was able to post some pictures of her as well. If you haven't read that blog, please feel free to. http://ourliladamsfamily.blogspot.com/2009_01_01_archive.html She is incredible.

This blog is going to be about our feelings that day. As Dustin and I got ready for our adventure we had so many mixed emotions. We had such great disappointment from the day before and didn't want to get our hopes up. Yet, here we were going to meet a woman and child who might pick us to be their adoptive family! Its HUGE!!!

On our way to Layton Dustin and I just kept trying to figure out questions, looks, and most importantly what in the hell we would have on the radio when she got in the car. Sounds crazy right? Probably but when you are on display and advertising yourselves to make a family, you really do think about everything! I think we decided on a mix of U2 and Sarah McClachlan.

Once we got to Layton we called to let Nekeita know we were here. Within minutes out walks a beautiful woman and little boy. She looks maybe 5 months pregnant and is beaming. I get out and introduce myself and she gives me a huge hug. Instantly all the little fears of what kind of music disappears.

It was so easy for Dustin, Keita, and I to talk. We were able to chat like we had been friends for an entire lifetime. It was really such an amazing experience. Everything just felt so right.

We took Keita to lunch at Joe's Crab Shack and then headed to the Fashion Place Mall to pick up some things she needed for her hospital stay. As we were in Motherhood, Keita asked Dustin and I what we wanted to name our baby. We said Dustin Carter. At that moment Nekeita took hold of her little belly and said "Well, hello there Dustin Carter." And that was it.

By the end of the day Keita had told us we would be the adoptive family for her little boy. We had an amazing time together and had agreed to see her the following day.

As Dustin and I left early that evening we were on cloud 9. We both kept saying we didn't want to get our hopes up again, but now it seemed even more real. We just spent the day with this amazing woman who was carrying our son.

We went to Dustin's sisters house after and started trying to figure out what we were going to do each day with Keita. Once you are placed it is the adoptive families opportunity to spend a lot of time with your birth family. Which is great, unless everything costs a ton and money is tight!

As we were planning what to do with Keita on Saturday my cell phone rang. Jane from our agency was calling to ask how our day with Keita went. We told her how amazing it was, and she said, "Congratulations! Keita felt the exact same. She has chosen the two of you to be her adoptive family. Tomorrow we will be signing our placement papers."

HOORAY!!! We called all sets of parents that night and asked if they would take a day to meet Keita and host an activity. We were trying to save money but still have the opportunity to spend time with Keita. They all happily agreed.

So, our first trip would be to Logan, the following day, to spend the day with Dustin's family!

Disappointment....And Yet!

A year ago today Dustin and I anxiously awaited a phone call telling us our birthmom and son were here. We paced back and forth and were going stir crazy waiting to go meet our little man. Around 1:00 that afternoon, the phone call from our agency finally came in. They told us our birthmother was a no show, and they would be showing our file later on that day to other birthmom's.

Dustin and I were incredibly disappointed. We were so bummed out it kind of sucked the life out of us for the remainder of the day. To go from such a high to such a low,is so hard, and made us fear how many times an event like this might occur. We had to call all of our families and let them know, there would not be a new member introduced to them today.

As the day progressed Dustin and I received another phone call from our agency. We were told there was a birthmom who was having a little boy and would like to meet us. They told us she was trying to decide between Dustin and I and another couple. They asked if we would be willing to meet her with the understanding that she may not pick us to be the adoptive family.

Dustin and I sat down and talked. We really wanted to meet our birthmom and have sometime with her, so we both agreed immediately that this was something we would like to do. We also braced ourselves for understanding of us not being picked.

We again told our immediate family, but just played it really low knowing it may fall through just as easily as the one we had experienced earlier that day. We talked to our agency and agreed to take our birthmom, Nekeita, out to lunch the following day.

That night we both went to bed saying we didn't have our hopes up for this little boy, but Lord knows we really did!

Situation Number 1

Well, here is my second post to my week as we are nearing Peanut's birthday.

A year ago today, I was getting ready to go to lunch with some of my dearest friends from work. I was in the shower when my phone rang, so once I was out I saw I had missed a call from my agency. I had a voicemail, so I listened to it and it went something like this...

"Hi Dustin and Lindsey, this is Jane from Heart and Soul. Listen...we have a situation. We have a six week old African American boy who is flying in tomorrow with his birthmother. She has picked the two of you to be the adoptive family, and we are wondering if you are interested. Please call us as soon as you can."

OMG!!! I couldn't believe it had all happened so fast. Our file had been opened for two days and we were being placed. Dustin and I got so excited, we called Jane back immediately, and said, "Of course we are interested and 100% willing to take this little man."

They told us the birth mom would be flying in either late that night or first thing the next morning. We would be signing placement papers fairly soon after, and we would be bringing home our son tomorrow.

Well, in order to make the day go faster, I continued to lunch with my girlfriends. I told them all of the exciting news, ate lunch, and then anxiously got back home to Dustin. We went and bought one outfit, got the car seat in, and spent the rest of the night anxiously awaiting a phone call.

We didn't get a call that evening, so we went to bed. Tomorrow is the day we bring home our little man! Needless to say we had a tough time sleeping when we thought our little boy was traveling home! It was a VERY exciting day.

Tomorrow we learn about the next step in our adoption process!

And Our Story Opened...

I have seen several friends do this and I have decided I really wanted to do it as well. Our Little Man turns one on Sunday, and I want to do a little log of the events leading up to the best day of our life.

A year ago today Dustin and I were in Logan, while Dustin was recovering from surgery. We had been anxiously awaiting to hear back from the adoption agency to find out if we we were accepted and when our file would open.

I remember calling first thing in the morning because we had been so incredibly anxious to find out. I called about 11, and Jane answered her phone. I asked her where our file stood, and she said, "Congratulations! We just had our meeting and your file is officially open. We will start showing your profiles to birthmother's immediately."

They then went on to tell us to keep our phones near all times from this point forward because when the situation came in, the baby might already be here. So, I hung up with Jane and Dustin and I celebrated with his family. We were so excited to finally be in a situation where we were going to be expanding our family.

A year ago today was a very promising day for our family! Stay tuned through out the week....

Starting The Process Again?....Maybe!

Dustin and I have been saying since we were placed with Carter, we would take another child right away if we could. However, due to the expense, it makes it very difficult to imagine adopting again, when we still owe money on Carter's adoption.

Well, we really want a little girl, preferably African American. So, I was doing some research on the internet, and decided to fill out a form to see what it would be like to adopt through fostercare. Now, instantly that shoots fear into me. However, I found out they have a program that we can say we are only interested in children who are already looking to be adopted, that way they won't be taken out of our home. So, we marked we were looking for a child 0-2, preferably female, but would take either, and open to a small sibling group, we will see what they say when they call with detailed information.

As I was sitting there filling out this form, I was talking to a girlfriend who is adopting a little girl from India, and is hoping to have her home by Christmas. She gave me a blog of a friend, and there is going to be a conference in July. I am truly thinking about attending, not only for information, but I think it is important to interact with other adoptive families.

Adoption is such a different feeling. The thought of putting our family on display again in hopes of expanding our family is a whirl wind of emotions. I get so excited about adding on to our family, and yet it really makes me nervous too, when we know so little about the backgrounds of the birth families and what kind of emotional roller coaster it can be.

Anyway, here's to testing out the waters and seeing what is in store for us. Who knows what will come from it all, but hopefully the end result will be a new member(s) of our family. It could happen tomorrow or in 3 years, that is the beauty of adoption.

Finally...Carter is Officially Official!

Well, it has taken me a few days...okay 10!, to get around to blogging about court. I have thought about just skipping it, but it was such an important day and so fabulous, I don't feel like I can. So, here it goes.

So, we had court on February 3, I could hardly sleep and was an emotional mess Tuesday morning. I got up, showered, got ready, and then got my little man ready. Dustin was as nervous as I was, so it was kind of a quiet morning. We had to be to court at 8:30. Well, we left at 7:55, and I was a nervous wreck the entire drive. I was on the verge of tears, everything was making me emotional, and I was tired.

When we got to the court house, Nathan pulled in next to us, and we walked in together.
When we got upstairs our attorney greeted us, and Aunt Tammy was waiting as well. We talked to our attorney about what we could expect and then just continued to wait.

By 8:30 all of our family had drifted in and my nerves were out of control.
As I stated in my earlier blog, Dustin and I had agreed I would be the one going up on the stand. Oh boy, I was crawling out of my skin and everyone kept telling me, "Breathe Lindsey....Take a breath Lindsey....," etc. Blah, I needed to be nervous, it was my Little Man we were talking about here!

We had two adoptions before us and it was a little reassuring. The families would go in and about 20 minutes later, come out smiling and still had their babies. So...I was getting more hopeful.

Finally, it was our turn. The judge was already in the court room and immediately made the process very relaxed. Our attorney told Dustin and I where to sit, and then the judge told everyone else they could sit anywhere, even in the jury seats if they wanted to. They all sat behind Dustin, Carter, and me.

It began with our social worker taking the stand and testifying about our family. They talked about the adoption process, if Carter had been in our home for six months, if we had our pre and post placement studies, if she felt like we were fit to be his parents, etc. She said yes to them all!

Then came my turn....it was a cake walk! My attorney asked if I could stay seated with my family and the judge was fine with that. Les, my attorney, then began to ask questions. He asked if I felt like Dustin was a fit father, if I understood that by adopting Carter he would be treated as my own natural child, if Dustin and I were to divorce Carter would be treated as my own natural child, etc, etc. I had to really focus on what he was saying because I wanted to make sure I answered them correctly, but it was pretty easy. Then the attorney turned to Dustin and said, "Do you understand all of the questions I just asked your wife," "yes," "Do you agree?" "Yes."

The attorney then stated Carter's full name, with our last name at the end, ask the judge to accept the motion, the judge began to talk and went through some legal information and then began with, "Dustin, I hereby order you...," my heart dropped and I thought we were going to be in trouble, "to take your wife to dinner, anywhere she would like to go, as a celebration. That is court ordered, do you understand?" We all broke out in laughter, Dustin said, "Yes, Your Honor," and it was done! HOORAY!!!

I had instant tears and was so relieved. We then asked the judge if we could take Carter up for pictures, and the judge said absolutely. I took Carter up to the bench and the judge pulled a box of beanie baby toys out and told Carter to pick one. While Carter was looking the judge asked to hold him and I sent him over. It was so cute!! The judge and Carter picked out his Beanie Baby and then just hung for several minutes. The judge then pulled out his gavel and let Carter hold it.

We then had several pictures with the judge, with family, with just our family, etc. It was perfect. It truly was the best day ever! Our judge was AMAZING and made the entire experience incredible.

Dustin and I then went downstairs filled out some final paperwork, and then went to Little America with our family for breakfast. We continued to giggle and laugh and be on cloud nine all day. Dustin and I took more pictures with family and friends, and then immediately went to Costco to get them all developed!

We want to thank everyone for all of the love and support everybody has shown for our family during the last 6 months. It has been quite the ride!

The Anticipation of Court!

Well, our adoption becomes finalized Tuesday, February 3. Which is two sleeps away! And I am so anxious and excited for that day to be here. Dustin and I have been anticipating this day for over six months now, and it is finally right around the corner! HOORAY!!!

So, last night on our way home, we started discussing which one of us was going to go up on the stand and be the spokesman for our family. I thought Dustin should, and he thought I should. What a surprise right? Well, after some discussion, we decided I would do it. Now, I am so nervous! What if I get up there and as I am talking I start to studder, or can't think of a word, or.... These are all things that happen when I am nervous! So...I am going to have to take a valium just to get through it! LOL...okay not really but I am nervous.

I called our social worker at the end of last week to make sure she remembered, and she did. She had our papers and everything all done and waiting in her file. So, that's good. I asked her a couple of questions and can you believe the whole court session is about 15 minutes long! We wait 6 months for 15 minutes! LOL...it is crazy stuff.

If you are wondering what court will do for us, I will tell you. It makes Carter officially ours. Right now our adoption agency is actually the guardian of Carter. He still has his birthmom's last name, and no social security number. His birth certificate has his birth parents on it, and we don't have access to any of that. However, Carter will when he is older.

Going to court will do a lot for our family. Carter will officially become Dustin Carter Adams, we will get a birth certificate with our names on it as his parents, and we will be able to get a social security number for him. We will also become the guardians, and official parents to our little man. So court is a BIG deal!

Last night I had a dream that I found Nekeita on facebook. As I was reading her profile, she had filled out the 25 random things about her survey and they were all about Carter and her second guessing her . The dream really made me sad and I am so grateful it was just a dream. I hope Keita is at peace with her decision and knows Carter is in good hands!

Anyway, all and all, in two days, our little boy officially becomes our little boy! It doesn't get better than that!

Our Birthmom

So, I decided I should post some pictures of the beautiful woman who gave us our precious angel. Her name is Nekeita, and she is amazing. When Dustin and I first met her there was an immediate connection. She gave me the biggest hug, and from that second on there was this amazing bond between all four of us.

Gabral is Carter's older brother. He was 2 at the time and a pure delight to be with. I will always remember the first thing he said to me, which was, "Heeey!" It cracked me up and I fell in love with him.

Our first day together we had a great time. We came to Murray where we had to run some errands for Nekeita. We then ended up at Joe's Crab Shack. The food was fabulous and we were all able to put away some serious seafood.

We then went to Fashion Place Mall, and were able to buy Nekeita somethings she would need while completing her stay in Utah and at the hospital. While we were at the mall Nekeita asked what we would be naming the baby. We told her Dustin Carter, and she reached down, held her belly, and said Hello there Dustin Carter. From that moment on, we knew we were going to be the adoptive family for her.

We continued to spend the entire day together. We were able to talk and have some serious heart to hearts. Nekeita is funny, outgoing, loving, and one of the sweetest women I have ever met. I just feel like she is now so much a part of me!

When we dropped Keita and Gabral off that night, we had agreed to get together the next day to go to Logan to meet Dustin's family. Little did we know how much our plans would change.

Saturday morning Dustin and I were having a stressful day trying to figure out finances, plane tickets, etc. and all it was going to take to become parents within a week. When I finally got to the point of such frustration, we decided to just put things aside and head to get Keita for an outing. As we were pumping gas, I received a phone call, and Keita's water had broke. Drastic change of plans, head for the hospital. There were so many tears of joy from all of our family and Dustin and I braced ourselves, we were going to become parents that day.

After gathering all we needed, and giving Keita time to get to the hospital, Dustin and I headed there ourselves. When we got there Keita was ever so grateful to see us, and feeling a little overwhelmed. All she could say is, "Well, we are no longer going by my schedule, Carter thinks he has to come today!" So, several hours went by, and at 6:47 pm on July 26, 2008, Keita brought into the world our little man. I was by her side the entire time, and she asked me to cut my son's imbilical cord. As I saw Carter for the first time, tears filled my eyes. Well, Keita had told me no tears allowed, and was quick to cover me by saying, "Linds, did something get in your contact?" When I gave Keita a hug, there was so much unspoken love and appreciation between the two of us, no words will ever describe that moment between 2 mom's for the same child.

Keita was then gracious enough to allow Dustin and I to spend as much time at the hospital as we wanted. Which was almost all the time. We spent the first night together, all 3 of us in Keita's hosptial room. Dustin was a huge help, and waited on Keita hand and foot. He wanted to make sure she was comfortable and spend as much time with her as he could.

As Carter continued to be in NICU, Keita would call down and get updates. As much as I think it hurt Keita to have involvement, she knew the hell we would have been going through, not knowing how our son was doing. She was simply the best birthmom we could ask for.

As time came to say goodbye, we made sure only little items got into my contacts. There was a peace between the three of us as our time together drew to an end. Keita wanted to get back to her life, and Dustin and I wanted to start ours. So, as Keita was readying to leave the hospital there were many thoughts, pictures, and love between us all.

Our birthmom was a simple miracle for Dustin and I. She was exactly all, plus more, that we had hoped for. She was loving, understanding, and included us in everything, through it all! Keita, I only pray that one day our paths will cross again. Until then, we love you and thank you...for giving us the best gift in the world!

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