...Or, is it, I am much to old to feel this damn young? I honestly don't know.
I usually try to keep my blog pretty light. I don't love to necessarily document the rought times, but I feel like there has been quite a bit going on lately and I just need to write some thoughts down.
A couple weeks ago, a friend of mine had a pretty rough night. She ended up making some rough decisions and ended up in the back of an ambulance. It was 1:30 in the morning and here I am riding to the emergency room in an ambulance. Kind of intense, and a little scarier then I usually like my Friday nights. The only humoress event of that night was this...my friend is in the back of an ambulance, stable, and the captain puts me up front with the driver. As he closes the door, I am putting on my seatbelt and waiting to go. All of the sudden the air horn of the ambulance starts blowing...after about 25 seconds of this horrifying horn blowing in the culdesac, the captain comes back, opens my door, and asks me to remove my foot from the airhorn. LOL!!! IT WAS ME THAT WAS CAUSING THE HORN AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW...IDIOT!
Anyway, back to the serious part...my friend ended up in seizures that night, and after the third one became unresponsive. A very dear friend of mine ended up in ICU that night. Fortunately she came through, but it was a pretty terrifying experience.
Next...I feel like some of the people I hold very dear to my heart are truly struggling. It breaks me heart and makes me feel so helpless. I don't know how to help people and yet this last week, I feel like so many people need someone to listen to them, someone to help them, and someone to breathe for them so they don't drowned. It is a little exhausting, and yet I feel like I HAVE to do this!
I had another friend recently who's family member is heavily involved in illegal drugs and activity. We know this, we know how involved, and recently, the family had to decide if the family member wasn't able to help themself, they were going to have to cut strings for awhile. To many people were in danger. It breaks my heart knowing the hell this family is going through, knowing their son officially does not have a place to call home until he is able to straighten some things out.
I have several friends who are in very difficult situations with their marriage, and I hate seeing that pain. I feel like so many find marriage as something that can so easily be thrown away these days, and find so few willing to really fight and try to save their families. It breaks my heart. It devastates me to know so many believe walking away is the best solution. I just wish some would fight for what they committed to, for the sake of their children, their family, and themselves.
I have another friend who is struggling with her child who is fighting an addiction on a hard drug. I see how much it eats at her, as a mother, and yet has no idea how to help her daughter. I can't even imagine the fears and thoughts that go through her mind daily.
This past weekend, I had a bit of an emotional breakdown. I feel like so many people are struggling right now. I feel like so many people need a break, a glimpse of hope, an answer to a prayer, something so they know they aren't alone. Something to protect them to survive their current struggles. They need hope...they need faith...and they need to find a way to cope, in a healthy manner, with their struggles.
I am usually not one who has a lot of drama going on in my life, and yet these last few weeks I feel like I have had a good amount and its been a lot. It is time for things to start to mellow down for all of these people who I love so dearly. I am exhausted, I can only imagine how each of them are feeling. So...here is a prayer to my God...
Thank you for the blessings in my life. Thank you for a family and friend support system that gets me through my struggles. Please protect the ones in my life who I love so dearly. Please watch over each of them while they live their life and walk through their struggles. Please give each of them some sort of guiding hand to lead them in a positive direction. I ask of this humbly...Amen.
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