Who Painted Me?

Last night, it was late, and I was getting Carter ready for bed. Out of the blue he asked me, "Who painted you white?" I answered with, "NeeNers and Papa Jeff." He seemed to understand that, but then immediately came back with, "Well, who painted me Chocolate?"

In doing some research, Dustin and I are very aware that come the age of three, children start to see the difference in color. They start to identify different ethnicities and such around them. In the past month or so, whenever Carter see's a child who is African-American, he will say, "Hey, him Chocolate like me!" We always answer with something like, "yes, he is. Isn't he so handsome?" Then Carter will identify the other children on the box and say, "him not chocolate, her not chocolate..." and point to the other kids. So we knew the conversations would start to be coming sooner than later.

Last night, Carter asked who painted him. I figured this was the perfect time to start conversing with him about his adoption and his birth family. I explained to Carter that he had another family. This was his birth family. I told him that they were chocolate like him and that is why he is chocolate.

He then asked me where he came from. So I told him his birthmom's tummy. He asked, "why not your tummy?" I tried to explain to him that mommy has not been able to have effective pregnancy's and I couldn't get him to us by myself. So, his birth family created him for us.

Then he said..."What there name?" So, I told him. I told him about his birth mom, dad, and brother. I told him how amazing they all were and how much we love and appreciate them. We talked about how lucky we were that they picked us. He then asked, "Why they pick you?"

Honestly, I will never know how or why she picked us to be the lucky ones to raise our baby. I will always be in awe that they had enough faith and belief in Dustin and I to raise our child. But I don't have any idea how to explain that part to my soon to be 3 year old. So, I told him what his birthmom said. I said, "I don't know baby, your birthmom said she took one look at a picture of mommy and daddy and knew we were supposed to be a family."

The conversation carried on for probably 20 minutes. A lot of him trying to understand why he has two sets of parents, and us trying to explain how lucky he is. I made sure to tell him over and over that they loved him so much, and just felt like he belonged with us. That they had created him for Dustin and I so we could all be a family, because that was the only way it could happen.

As the conversation was ending, it dawned on me, I could show our baby a picture of his birth mom and brother. Fortunately, I had blogged some pictures of the two of them before our safe was stolen that held all of the pictures of us together. I showed him how beautiful his birth mom was and how cute his brother was. When he saw the pictures he said, "there chocolate like me!" It touched my heart. I don't want to say any other words then I was in awe that my little boy was learning his adoption story at such a young age. I was in awe at the smile he got when he saw them and I truly believe there was maybe a small glimpse of understanding the role of his birth family and his mom and dad.

As the night came to close, Dustin and I both pulled in our little chocolate bunny for some loves. We explained how much we loved him and how grateful we are that his birth family brought him into the world for us and for our family to be complete. I can only pray that as the questions continue, the correct answers do too. We want our little man to be proud of who he is and where he came from. We want him to know how much he is loved by both families and how lucky we are to have him as part of ours. It truly is an evening I will never forget.

I love and am ever so grateful for adoption and our families birth family.